Written by Dena Johnson
Dear Divorced Christian,
That term still stings, doesn’t it? It seems as if people everywhere want you to wear a large, scarlet letter “D” around your neck. Every form you complete asks if you are divorced or widowed, not just single or married. You are often scorned by the church because of your past. You feel as if you are a total and complete failure.
It’s miserable to not fit in, especially at church. You don’t really fit with the singles, an eclectic group that spans many decades. And you don’t fit with the married groups either, even though you once did. You don’t fit with the happy little families, all coming together to celebrate holidays and special events as a “complete” family.
Even if you did fit in, there are time constraints. If you have full-time custody of your children, you are so busy trying to juggle work and kid schedules and your many other responsibilities that you have no time to search out a new circle of friends. You have no time to consider a social life of your own. And, even if you could find friends and activities, there’s no money for child care for an occasional evening of adult fellowship.
And then there are those well-meaning Christians who want you to know that you have failed Christ by your divorce. They tell you that God hates divorce. They tell you that if you remarry one day, you will forever be living in an adulterous relationship, surely condemned to eternal hell. They tell you that you must stand in the gap, praying for reconciliation with your ex-spouse. That is your only option—other than remaining single for the rest of your life.
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