MilesTones: Write Brain Super Dooper Bloopers

Rev. Austin Miles FAMILY, FEATURED ARTICLES, HUMOR, U.S. NEWS 2 Comments

By Rev. Austin Miles

It is always good to start each day with a laugh. Indeed, I would never leave home without it. My first laugh of the day is found in the local morning newspapers, which usually keeps me lighthearted for the rest of the day.

For instance, one news story told of a truck driver in California on a busy freeway rushing to his destination, when the merchandise he was transporting spilled out on the road while rounding a curve, causing a two hour traffic delay. The driver was delivering a truck full of condoms.

With great thought and journalistic skill, here was the headline The Chronicle crafted: “Truck Driver Spills His Load on Busy Freeway.” I had to pick myself up from the floor when I saw that one. Every day those headlines pop up and some stories are so botched up in general that you can’t help but laugh.

Pay close attention to your morning headlines and some of the news descriptions of the happenings of each day and what you detect may make your day a fun day.

My anonymous minister friend, who also has a sense of humor, helped me gather up some real classic blooper headlines. Don’t be drinking coffee when you read these:

***Man Kills Self Before Shooting Wife and Daughter

This one I caught in the Tribune the other day and called the Editorial Room and asked who wrote this. It took two or three readings before the editor realized that what he was reading was impossible! They put in a correction the next day.

***Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says

Really?

***Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers

Now that’s taking things a bit far

***Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over

What a guy!

***Miners Refuse to Work after Death

No-good-for-nothing’ lazy so-and-so’s

***Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant

See if that works any better than a fair trial

***War Dims Hope for Peace

I can see where it might have that effect

***If Strike Isn’t Settled Quickly, It May Last Awhile

Ya think?

***Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures

Who would have thought it

***Enfield( London ) Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide

They may be on to something

***Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges

You mean there’s something stronger than duct tape?

***Man Struck By Lightning: Faces Battery Charge

He probably IS the battery charge

***New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group

Weren’t they fat enough?

***Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft

That’s what he gets for eating those beans.

***Kids Make Nutritious Snacks

Do they taste like chicken?

***Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half

Chainsaw Massacre all over again

***Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors

Boy, are they tall!

And the winner is….

***Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead

Did I read that right?

The Bible tells us that It is good for your health to have a sense of humor.Take heed: “A merry heart doeth good like a medicine: but a broken spirit drieth the bones”
Proverbs 17:23.

Have a fun day. MilesTones

Rev. Austin Miles, a chaplain in Northern California is a writer and historian. He is the author of Santa’s Surprising Origins, a story that received worldwide circulation and resulted in him being cast in the 2004 Hallmark Christmas Movie titled, Single Santa Seeks Mrs. Claus. He played the mall Santa who magically received the gift of sign language.

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Comments 2

  1. Sue Cass

    LOL Your response, Rev, is as good as the headlines. I think I laughed harder at the responses. I’m still laughing. Thanks. Now to pass it on so others can have a good belkly laugh. Hopefully I can cut and paste.

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